LETTER TO THE SCRABBLE CHAMP

Dear Scrabble Champ,

There will be no need for the usual pleasantries because I know you are doing just great. In fact, you are someone I see almost every day. I’m like a big, no I mean huge fan of your prowess with words. I used to see myself as a great Scrabble player till I had a one-on-one game with you yesterday. Mehn, I was humbled beyond words. It’s still amazing how you did that. Me? I can’t even gloat anymore. The trophy has been taken by you. What??? Why??? How???

You do remember how it all started. You came home, I was playing Scrabble on the laptop. You asked innocently ‘’Is that Scrabble I see you playing?’’ I looked at you with this wide grin on my face and I said ‘’Yes, I just beat the computer by 60 points’’ (And I’m a pro ooo). I remember this weird smile that came on your face for an instant and the words popped out from your mouth ‘’Let’s play; I love this game’’. As proud as I was, I shrugged and said ‘’Ohkay’’. In my mind I was actually saying ‘’Heehee, you are gonna get beat down’’.

The game started off pretty nice. I led by a few points. At that moment, I was ecstatic, thinking to myself ‘’Damn, I’m totally gonna win this game’’. It seemed like you were reading my thoughts because you had this look on your face saying ‘’She has no idea what is in store for her’’.  I went on to play the word ‘’Xerox’’ which increased my points by 46, was it 46? Yeah, 46. There I was singing to myself ‘’The champ is here, bim-bim-bim-bim- The champ is here’’.

I sang too soon because shortly after, you played the word ‘’Question’’ next to ‘’Able’’. I can’t remember how many points you got from that but it was enough for me to murmur to myself ‘’Well-played; Well-played’’. All the while, you kept quiet, you were really concentrating so hard. I became nauseous, I couldn’t lose to you, not now after winning so many games? I was antsy because I could see for myself that with 25 tiles left and just a few points more, you would be declared winner and I would have to do the ‘’Scrabble walk of shame’’ with my head drooping.

So, I reassured myself with the false hope that it may be ‘’initial gra-gra’’. 

 A few minutes later, I had a ''lightbulb'' moment (like 'Gru' in 'Despicable Me', hahaha, I know you don't watch cartoons) and then I play the word ‘’Zygote’’. I gave you a look of ‘’Aha’’. Omo mehn, the grin shined well on my face so much that when you played ‘’Baggy’’, I gave you a look of ‘’Yimu’’. The last set of random letters appeared and I laughed inside because there was no way you could form a word from that and get high points. Alas, I was mistaken. You shocked me when you fixed the letters on a placed tile on the screen and made the word ‘’Showcasing’’.

My laughter died into a frown, I was open-mouthed, couldn’t utter a word. I had been ‘’schooled’’. You won by a whopping 38 points (That’s big enough for me). Finally you smiled and said ‘’Next time, I will go easy on you’’. All I could think of was my scrabble crown had been taken from me. You were a good contender and I had been bested. I just want you to know I’m seriously preparing for another game, am going to learn new tactics, get more vocabularies. Haba, how can you win me like that? Noooo, I want a rematch. The game’s on.

Be prepared for our next tournament. I love you but I wanna win toooo...*sulking*

Your loving daughter,

OddNaijaChic

LYRICALLY LOUD

Hey, my dearest readers! 

Thanks a lot for your great reviews about my blog. You all are darlings. Due to the feedback I got from you guys, I changed the mobile version to look exactly like the web interface so as to include all the social links like Twitter, Facebook and of course, a member forum. Some of you also complained that you were unable to comment. Uhmmm, would it be too much to ask if I asked you to open a Google account as that is the only way you can comment? Go to accounts.google.com and the rest will follow. Oh, I forgot, you can also sign in and comment if you have a Gmail account. I’m hoping you wouldn’t see it as a stressful task. Thanks!!!

Ok, back to the main topic at hand! 

Lyrics, lyrics, lyrics!!! Great music is all about lyrics. Finding the right lyrics in a song to tune with the right beat is what makes a classic hit. In Nigeria, the music industry is thriving day by day. A lot of people want to have a feel, a taste of that frenzy, the publicity, the spotlight, love from the fans, the money, you know, everything that comes with being a star. So, you see most young ones producing, rapping and singing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disapproving. I mean if you got the talent, show it, rock it!!!

I am actually a big fan of great rap songs. I love the rhymes, the beats, the punch lines that make you go ‘’Whattttttt?’’ Hahaha. This post was inspired by a person close to my heart. Well, he told me that I have got good lines in rap. So I’ll drop a few so you can judge for yourself. I have been playing with these lyrics in my head. Please, if it is great, tell me. If it’s bad, don’t be scared, tell me ooo. If it’s funny, you are free to laugh. This is the first time I’m actually writing one. This is not an attempt to storm the music industry. It is just for fun.

So, here goes. These are lyrics to a love rap song straight from my heart. 

Day I saw you; Knew you were always gon’ be on my menu

Told my heart ‘Be still’; It was booming like a drill

You gave me that smile; My head spun for miles.

I fell ‘heels over head’; See, now I do need my meds

I never fell this hard; It’s crazy, it’s madddd

My girls don’t even know me; Dude, you gotta fix me

Swimming in an ocean full of emotions; Is this me, who would have had the notion?

This is no joke; No, I’m not doing coke

It’s real, it’s live; Me feelings are alive

Butterflies in my tummy; Hmmm your love is yummy

You say the right words; My heart goes a-flutter

It’s definitely magic; I’m melting like butter

What can I say?

This love is hot like fire; It’s all electric, Baby, it’s wired

So honey, this heart is yours to keep; Oh, yeah never ever lemme weep

My heart is your home; Yours’ is my dome

Hope this lasts forever; Don’t want it gone, neverrrrrr!!!

I’m rapping words; Me? Never used to do this

No control over my hands; You, You, You did this!

Mary J. said ‘Mr Wrong’; Nahhhh you’re always right

I love you baby; Damn with all my might

My tall drink of chocolate goodness; And no I don’t mean the beverage sweetness

We are two peas in a pod; You and I in our own world

A roller coaster of emotions; Uhmmm did you give me a potion?

I love you, I love you…. Yeah baby, It’s all true!!!

THE END!

So, is it ‘’lyrically loud’’? You be the judge!!!

NOTE: These are lyrics straight from my heart. The words are either the product of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to other lyrics, rapped or just written, is purely coincidental.

GOOD LOOKS & INTELLIGENCE: A BLESSING OR ''CURSE''???

Before you read this post, note that it is just an opinion of mine based on what I think. It is not a feminist post. Would love to know what you think.

Women are all born with a touch of uniqueness, be it beauty, intelligence, charm, wit, great intellect. Some come with the whole package. In the words of Farrah Fawcett, the late movie actress, ‘’God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met’’. I love that quote.

Intelligence in a woman is a blessing. I attest to that. No, I’m not a nerd. I love to have fun. I like to dress up, look great, look glam. Being smart is just another in-built trait that is like a part of my DNA.  You see, I have always excelled without trying too hard though I would never brag about it to anyone. It is never cool to do such. Understanding things comes naturally and being able to create ideas is one of the pros. I also find solace in using intelligence to understand the worth of the smaller things in life. I don’t use it to judge people around me; what I judge is your personality.

However, there are no pros without cons. The down-side of being smart and witty is that people tend to be intimidated by you. They assume you think you are better than them. When I was in school, sometimes I would be accused of deceiving my friends, like getting great grades while they didn’t do so good. Sometimes when I speak, they might say ‘’heyyyy you ehn and big big words’’ lol. So in a while, I have to dumb myself down to suit other people’s ego and not make them feel threatened. That there, that is the ‘’curse’’. 

Brushing that aside, I wonder do men really like intelligent women? Women who are pretty and intelligent? Women who are opinionated, articulate, very witty, make constructive decisions, are determined to be independent, focused on achievements? Do men want these women as their girlfriends, wives-to-be? I ask because I used to down-play my intelligence in relationships so my boyfriend can feel smart too. 

When you ask a guy, ‘‘ What qualities would you like your lady to have?’’ There is a common response given --- ‘’Beauty ( heehee, that one always come first), good character, INTELLIGENCE, humility etc’’. You get my point. Note that intelligence was bolded. Do y’all really mean it? Or do you find it sexy and appealing in a woman? I mean, does it make her that more interesting? 

OR would you rather prefer a ‘’dumb blonde’’…Scratch that..we don’t have blondes in naija..I meant to say ‘’dumb black’’….heehee.. A lady who would always say ‘’Yes, dear’’ to everything you say, their job is to wake up and look pretty. Would you want that?

I as a lady like guys with the great package: intelligence, good character, loving and cute. So if you guys do not want the ‘smart’ factor in your ladies, then I say it’s almost like a curse if we are intelligent. 

Bye, dearest unseen readers!!!

'PANADOL' FOR THE BROKEN HEART

Bad relationships, break-ups, a broken heart(s), silent tears on the inside, a chance of blaming yourself thinking your actions caused it, occasional visits down memory lane, moping around and then depression kicks in. Some of us may have gone through this exact phases of consequential break-ups, we see it in chick flicks or even in our friends. However, these are the ‘’normal’’ symptoms that a lady feels when she once loved truly but lost in the game of love.

Yeah, I have had my own fair share of break-ups but even if it hurt really bad, I never let the pain rule my life. No, no, no!!! Going through all that huge sad drama, the depression, ughhhhh!!! A buzz and new thrill of something fascinating would be just what I needed to calm me down like say, buying myself a ‘’break-up gift’’. 

It sounds bizarre but I see that gift as telling myself  ‘’the relationship was fun while it lasted, you loved, get over it, it doesn’t end here but in the meantime, take this gift as a consolation prize’’. You ask what kind of gifts? It could be sneakers, jewellery, a new hairdo, novels, a pair of jeans, anything leaving me with a huge smile on my face and no, it is not a subtle way of repressing my emotions, it is all about letting go of whatever happened. A break-up is never the end of the world so don’t let it rule you.

 

You may think ahhh this chic is in the middle of a breakup. Nope, that’s far from it. I felt the need to post this to relieve the world of more broken hearts than it can take. I have seen a couple of friends way too disheartened by break-ups and it’s not a pretty sight. A lady doesn’t have to go through all that huge sad emotional drama in her life. Take the insightful lyrics of Mary J. Blige’s ‘’No More Drama’’ (Uh, it feels so good when you let go of all the drama in your life, Now you’re free from all the pain, free from all the game, all the stress, so find your happiness).

Ok, back to me, another ‘’therapy’’ I would use in the event of a break-up from someone I thought I was totally in sync with and for some reason, yours truly is too damn broke to buy herself a gift, I would sit down, write a letter to myself, pretend for that moment I was my own shrink, split my persona in two; the shrink and the lady who needs a lift-up of her spirit. 

So you see, this said letter would be giving me a list of all the things I detested or hated in this ‘’ex-boyfriend’’ while we were together and also reasons to move on, let go, put on a happy face. More often than not, after reading this letter to myself, I would actually feel much much better and then I walk around with this in-built confidence. This renewed happiness then reflects on my whole aura to the point that If I ever see my ex again, those feelings may surface but It doesn’t sting or hurt of loud sighs and ‘could-have-beens’.

I find that turning to friends for comfort and solace is not really my thing so as weird I am, this is what I do. I let it all out on paper or buy the occasional ‘’break-up gift’’ and voila, a wide grin surfaces. 

This is my recommended ''panadol'' for a broken heart. If symptoms still persist after a week or two, consult me! Guys, I don’t know how you handle break-ups ooo. I know you have this macho thing going on, so I guess yours would be like singing to yourself ‘’on to the next one’’. Hahahaha, but frankly, it still remains elusive to me. 

Bye for now, lovelies!!!

EXPULSION OF A TOE-NAIL RIGHT OFF ITS HINGES

The grand toe-nail, the essential toe-nail of a lady’s pedicure! The beauty of that gorgeous nail on your toe! I realize we shouldn’t take that seemingly ignored nail for granted. I envy you all with a nail on your big toe. Yeah that’s right. I lost my big toe-nail. No, not an hangnail. The whole goddamn nail!!!  *sighs*  This is my story.

One beautiful, hotttt, sunny morning in the city of Abuja, I woke up feeling refreshed and happy. Who am I kidding? I always wake up with a growl on my face silently cursing time for flying by. Ok, I’m deviating a bit. The point is I wake up but little did I know the excruciating and traumatizing pain that would befall me later on. The day passed on, like any other till that phone-call which came in and became a huge factor in the devastating loss of my nail.

At the time, I was in my mother’s room watching a sitcom. A friend called, I was ecstatic because it had been a while I heard from her. So the usual body movements were there like my left hand moving wildly whilst I talked, me squealing and shrieking at something she said, saying things like ‘’It is a lieeeeee’’, ‘’Are you seriousssss?’’.   

I didn’t realize my legs were also that excited and it was heading for a hard-as-rock picture frame on the floor set against the wall. The next thing was ‘’boom’’. I had stubbed my toe on the picture frame. I tried to mentally block out the pain like the Chinese Monks do but the pain overcame. I screamed, hopped on one leg, shouted a few cuss words. Then, I looked at my big toe and there it was, the nail was out but a little part of it was still holding on for dear life. 

My eyes popped out in shock, blood was oozing out, the whole thing looked gory, like something out of a horror movie. It hurt really bad and I nearly passed out from the pain. I told my sisters about it, they showed all this initial sympathy, then the teasing as usual began. 

My sisters told me I would never wear a ballet pumps shoe or sneakers everrr for at least 6 months. One of them sighed and said ‘’And you had the best toe nails in the house’’. I looked at her with this expression on my face like ‘’yeah you had to wait till I lost a nail to tell me’’. My father said it came off because my nail was already weak from too much spaghetti in my system. (That’s right; I love me some spags). The laugh was too much to contain. Abeg, what is the correlation between spaghetti and nails? Anyway, that is my dad, always full of humour.

So as it is now, the whole nail is gone, my big toe is naked, swollen, looks like a stump. I can’t wear shoes for now. The bathroom slippers is now my new fashion craze. So, anyone who is reading this, look down at your big toe and be glad there is a nail right there! Chaoooooo!

WHAT IF? WHAT IF?? WHAT IF???!!!!

It’s a question that keeps ringing in my ears ever since I finished reading Stephen King’s latest hit novel ‘’11-22-63’’. Normally, when Stephen King’s name is mentioned, one would have this quick image of horrors but funny enough, it’s more like an alternative reality fiction kind of book.

Basically, it’s a novel about time travel and attempts to change events in the past. In the story, there’s this guy, Al Templeton who finds that the pantry in his diner has a gateway or rather a portal that connects to 1958.  So one day, he walks through this portal, leaves his 2007 life behind and stays back in the 50s. 

You may ask why? Why would he leave his present life to stay in the past? Al’s main goal was to stay for about 5 more years leading to November 22, 1963 to stop Lee Harvey Oswald from assassinating the late President John Kennedy. Well, he believed that by preventing the late president from dying, the world in the future would be a better place. He didn’t quite succeed, he comes back to the present and finds out he’s dying of terminal lung cancer because of some fatal dose of radiation. 

Al realizes he is dying much quicker than he expected. He summons his friend, Jacob ‘’Jake’’ Epping to see him, he then tells him all about this portal to the past and implores him to go through. Jake finds the use of this odd time slip always leads him to Lisbon Falls as it existed on September 9, 1958 at 11:58 am. 

To cut the long story short, because the use of the portal gave one the ability to change things in the past, he agreed to Al’s request to prevent late President John Kennedy from being murdered. However, the trick was that whenever he used the portal again to visit the past, the event previously changed will reset automatically along with consequent alterations to the future. This implied that if he wanted to save the president on 11-22-63, it had to be done once and for all.

Well, he succeeded. He prevented it. However, even though he saved the president’s life, how little the change may seem caused major life-altering changes in the future, 2011 to be precise ---- Domestic terrorism, environmental collapse, death of thousands in a massive earthquake in California, the world was full of chaos and lawlessness and most of the world’s population was wiped out. There and then, he realized the past is ‘’obdurate’’ – the more significant the event you want to change, the more the past throws up obstacles to prevent that change. Figuratively speaking, the little ripple he made in the pond caused a big splash in ocean. Mr. Time sure does not like being played with.

After reading this book, wild thoughts began to emanate in my head. What If slaves were not taken from Africa in the early era? Yeah I know there would be no black Americans, but how great a difference would that be in the present if by some odd means too, I went back to the past and tried to change all that?  Would the past also try to throw obstacles at me to prevent me changing the event? What If I didn’t attend University of Jos but went to some other university? I wouldn’t have known the great friends that I have right now but then I wouldn’t know what I was missing. What If 9/11 had never happened? Those who lost their loved ones would not be feeling the enormous pain that lingers on in their hearts because they would be right there with them living. The thing is if the past is obdurate, does it mean they were destined to die in a terrorist attack?

What If I had the means to go back and prevent my childhood friend from dying to some deadly ailment? Would there be a ripple effect? Would saving my friend cause an equal and opposite reaction? Would she still die by some other means just after I saved her? 

What If there was never a first and second world war? Would there be world peace? What if there was never an incident of crisis in Jos? Would it still be known as a peace-loving state? What If there were never terrorist organizations like Al-Qaeda and Boko Haram? What If our leaders’ right from independence were honest, never corrupt, developed Nigeria to its fullest? Would we be living in a utopian Nigeria now? Are our lives following a set script that ends when we die?  

As I asked myself this questions, it began to dawn on me that things happen for a reason. However, the present is here to make decisions or change things that will affect the future positively. So, in the future, these decisions would not create an arena for regrets or endless thoughts of how you wish you could go back in time to change those decisions.  The past is the past; we can’t change it. Still, the question lies therein ‘’What If’’?

''PILOT BLOGGING EPISODE''

Hello there!!! This, my dear readers, is the launch or take-off post here coming to you from a young lady, a 21 year old scientist with a creative spirit who has wonderful, crazy, funny, serious, lopsided, strange, real thoughts about anything lurking in her brain and needs to blog about it. I’m actually excited about this because now, I get to develop my writing skills based on my live thoughts. So, I’m popping my imaginary champagne to show how ecstatic I am. I was actually expecting a big shout of ‘’woo-hoo’’, some wild screams there from u but whatever! Hahaha! 

I call this first post.. the..*drum rolls* …waiiiitttt foooorrrr it…Pilot Blogging Episode (1^st episode) as they would call it in a typical sitcom series. For a moment there, you thought I was gonna call it something else aside the caption above but I had you right where I wanted. 

 

I have always seen writing as a passion of mine, any thought I had in my head, I put to paper or some ‘’note-app’’ in my phone or even in my laptop but then 2 years back, while going on a ‘’surfing-the-net’’ rampage, I discovered some cool blog sites and then it hit me, ‘’I can take my writing to another level—blogging’’. So, blogging then became this whole new fantasy of mine, a fantasy developing into a watering interest and now here it’s live, yours truly blogging away **wild screams again**.

I’m using this as a medium to vent out thoughts that take a hike in my head in a chaotic motion and go ‘’kaboom’’. Speaking of, there was this episode in Simpsons (if you like cartoons) where Homer was holding in pent up anger for a few days. It caused him bodily harm like there were all this bumps popping out of his neck for every frustration and anger he couldn’t express. It was hilarious as hell (not that I think real hell is funny though).

So you see, I liken it to my very own case except my pent-up emotions are thoughts, thoughts about life in general, fun, the society, people’s opinions about different issues, my country, Nigeria and its day-to-day matters. Aside this, my thoughts could be fused with eerie and disturbing comedy, crazy humour if you may, so watch out! I can’t help it because I’m wired like that. 

Yours truly just graduated from University of Jos. I studied Microbiology and I’m sticking around waiting for service so it figures that I have got some time on deck to blog a bit. Also, my sisters (my besties) were always at the receiving end of my ranting, ravings, jokes, humour, whining and teasing before they left for school after the 2 month old ASUU strike,  so I needed this to vent.

Even my best homie (yeah I call him homie, we tight like that) who seems to get this side of me is not in town. What of my female friends? Well, I share with them the cool and low-key version of myself and even though I love them to death, I find it hard to express fully the weird side of me. So once again, my dear readers suck it up because you have got me to deal with…*evil grin again*. When I say ‘’you’’, I mean any friend(s) out there who knows of this blog, anonymous people, green aliens from outer space, cyber-stalkers, weird folks and fellow bloggers….so there, ‘’you’’ have it!

‘’Sayonara’’ for now as I look forward to publishing more, my dear unseen readers!!!!