TRIBUTE TO A GREAT FRIEND

You were known for your vibrance

A light of the world to your parents

Rays of sunshine to your friends

Perfection personified like no other

You had a heart full of love

Never was there an ill thought lurking beneath

Always cherished for your kind gestures

Indeed, I loved you for the heart you possessed

So close we were that our families became friends

You and I -- The knots bonding them like glue

Our mums became best pals

Just the way we were

We shared dreams and envisioned our future

Pictured ourselves at each others' wedding

Making Kodak moments

Living a life that one would emulate

Life was fine for us ----- till terror struck

A strange illness caught up with you

I saw you slowly fading away from me

Prayed that you would bounce back to healthy rhythm

Seeing you smile was all that mattered

I told you it would all be over

I said ''You would be well again''

It was a firm conviction within me and I believed it

So much pain and agony you endured

Still, your face never lacked that glow

You shed no tears

But I know, welts on the inside stung

A lasting grin you always saved

For the ones you held dear

They know not what you went through

No hint of the trauma behind the happy face

We all had mighty hope, we prayed for you

You astounded us with how brave you were

I never wanted to cry in your presence

For I believed this too shall pass

You were in another city getting medical attention

Called you but you were too weak to answer

With the little strength you had, you text-ed me to say

''Sorry for not being able to pick. Wish to see you soon. Love you''

I was positive I would see you again

Little did I know that the end was near

Came back from school one day

To find my mum and sisters in tears

The bombshell was dropped

I was told you had just died that morning

Never cried so hard in my life

The only thing I could say was ''God. Whyyy?''

I was a crying mess, moped around for days

My oldest friend of 13 years had been rudely snatched from me

By the cold hands of death

It wasn't fair, It wasn't fair, It still isn't fair

Sometimes I sense your presence around me

Like you are there but I can't reach out to you

Can't bring myself to delete your number and your messages

You left me too soon and I couldn't see you before you passed on

I cried hard again today

Because it is your birthday

And we should be rejoicing together

I picture myself laughing and telling you ''Yellzzz you are a big chic now ooo'' 

My mum still speaks highly of you

She adored you sooo much

I pick up the phone to call your mum and console her

But I can't because tears will take over my words

As I type this words, tears flop on my keyboard

But I don't care because I want to let it all out

It's a raw sting and it still hurts

There are so many things I wish I had told you

I miss your smiles, your laughter

I know that somewhere in heaven you are watching us

Your memory remains fresh

And It will always be

Forgetting you is out of the question

Its been 237 days since you left and I still miss you
I love you, my beautiful friend Shade 

And I will always do

HOPE IS NEVER A MIRAGE

Hey dearies. I just realized it’s been a week since my last post. That’s STRIKE ONE for me, right? I do not want to morph into the habit of leaving my blog full of cobwebs and then having to use a broom of words to clean it up later on. Lol. That’s a no-no. My thought-waves have been static of late but something my dad said today got them all swirly and into overdrive.  

We were both heading into town to get some things. There was a little traffic and there was this old woman on a street begging for alms. My dad gave her some little change. He then turned to me and in his ‘’wise-daddy voice’’ said ‘’She stays there, day after day in spite of the scorching heat because she has hope that it will be better. Hope is what keeps her moving, keeps her alive to stay another day. Life has its ups and downs. If you find yourself in a bad situation and you feel like it’s all going downhill from there, believe in God, do not let it depress you, think positive and it will all work out for the better ’’.

Those words were etched into my memory. I literally crammed them (I too dey cram things put for head..lol). It has become my new mantra for the time being and I have been mulling over it. We all experience some bad downturns at some point in our life, some so terrible that one would think nothing better can come forth ever. The thing is how do we handle them? How do we move on after? Most people will wallow in depression and misery because it’s that bad or worse, make an attempt to commit suicide.  Depression can get so bad it turns out to be an illness, a diseased state of the mind. Some people take prescription drugs for it sef. Still, at that dreary point, who do we turn to? We call on God, pray that this dilemma we find ourselves in be vanquished and we have faith in Him that things will indeed work out for the better. Remember though faith always goes side by side with hope.

Hope. Hope. Hope. That abstract emotion we feel and believe that events in our life will turn out for the best and everything will be great and dandy. It’s not a misplaced emotion. Some pessimists say hope is a mirage, a false feeling we use to console ourselves that things will be better. I say that is ultimate crap. I know there are hard times, times we want to scream out loud, cry, tear our hair out even if we have this indifferent look on our face. Still, a boiling emotion within. Without hope, we are left with a feeling of despair, a pale inner self, a lack of determination and we die a little inside with each day that passes because the desire to LIVE in time will be gone. We feel forsaken, become resentful of the world and it ages us fast. The philosopher Theocritus once said and I quote ‘’While there is life, there is hope and only the dead have none’’. I totally concur. 

When we find ourselves knee-deep in despair, we must try to reach out to the ones that care about our existence – our family, close friends, a sister, a close cousin or whoever is in a serious romantic relationship with you so we don’t become an island of self-pity and misery. Despair is a dark, dark partner to live with and you shouldn’t let it reside in you else it eats you up slowly like a virus. We shouldn’t let it embrace us. Not an option. It still stresses my point that you need loved ones around you that are willing to put a smile on your face & fill your heart with happiness.

I believe hope helps us to be optimistic, you know, think positively. Besides, I don’t need to stress too much on the power of the mind and how our thoughts affect our well-being.  With hope comes the desire to be proactive and rise above whatever bad situation you find yourself. It’s not easy but we have to train our mind in that direction so hope frees it of sad, befuddling thoughts and instead place it with the belief that a positive outcome will prevail. With that belief brings a consequent desire to find the inner happiness eluding us at that point in time. Still, it doesn't mean we should rest on our oars and wait on hope alone to work it out. We only use hope as a positive incentive to realize those outcomes we want for ourselves (hoping that makes sense). I do not qualify as a hundred percent ‘hopeful’ person but I’m getting there, still building my relationship with hope.

If my dad believes in it, I will too. It’s no wonder he still looks sooooo young for his age. I guess a heart filled with happiness and optimism will do that to you. Hell yeah, I’m totally down with ‘’proactive hope’’. You should be too :)

Bye for now. Will be stopping by soon.

''A LIL' SUM'N SUM'N FOR ME SISTAAHS''

Woohoo!!! Give it up for my sistersssss. Yeah, this is their birthday month. They are Pisces chicas. The coolest sisters anyone could ask for. God blessed me for having such wonderful babes around me doubling up as besties. You there, don't roll your eyes at me. It's true. This post should have been here two days ago because it was Miss B’s birthday. Mi amor, I was preoccupied with other stuff but like they say, better late than never, right?  Enough Hershey Kisses’ from me to you sweetie. Miss H’s birthday is on the 13^th  of this month. Like I said, it’s all about you girls so Miss H, Happy Pre-Birthday in advance. Since you girls are in school and miles away from me, I thought to scribble down 10 things I love about you. Call it my virtual gift from me to you. 

Let’s start with Miss H since you came into the world before Miss B. Miss B, don’t worry, I’m coming to you, okay? I’m saving the best for last. Ehmm, Miss H, I didn’t mean it like that before you go on squinting your face. You know she’s the last girl so she needs to be shown that extra attention (yimu).

MISS H, my lovely sis:

1.      I know I don’t tell you this often but I love how selfless you are. It’s all natural. You give without hesitating (that is, when you have). You make me think of that chocolate I hid under my pillow and I berate myself for being a bit selfish. Then I call you girls and say ‘’Look what I got here!!!’’. It’s always exciting to see those cute doe eyes pop out on your face because I know how much you and Miss B love chocolate.

2.      You make me laugh real hard; they say I’m hilarious but I tell them, ‘’you haven’t met my sis Miss H’’. The expressions you have on your face when you crack a witty joke or tease anyone are comedic winners. I think it’s because of you; my dimples deepen more and more from too much laughter. Plus that maniacal laughter of yours resembling that of a mad cartoon scientist is really endearing.

3.      Ahem, the tell-tale in the family. Whenever I told you I felt sick and didn’t want mum to know, You would look at me and say ‘’Why did you tell me now? See, I have to tell her ooo, What if it gets worse and something really bad happens to you, Do you think I would forgive myself?’’ and then, as always, you run off to tell our mum who you know gets hysterical at the word ‘’sick’’ and starts prescribing Robb, Aboniki balm, Paracetamol, ‘’Agbo’’ drink, hahaha. I know that’s your way of caring and though it may be annoying at times, I love you for that.

4.      I love your dark, long hair. Ok, I won’t say anymore on that. Ohhh, now, I won’t hear the end of this one because you will keep pestering me with ‘’Sooo you admit you love my hair?’’

5.   Stubborn is your middle name. There’s no winning an argument with you. Even though I know more than half of the time, I’m always right, I still back out so you can have all the glory of winning. ‘’Senior things’’. Apart from being stubborn, I love the ingenious and brilliant mind of yours that shows the creative side of you. Rock on with that!

6.      You know me inside-out. Sometimes you can tell what I’m thinking of and it’s a bit scary. I only lie and say ‘’That’s not trueeee, I’m not thinking of that’’. Are you psychic or something? Tell me ooo.

7.      Shopping with you is always fun. You have this knack for knowing good fashion. I was always clueless on picking out nice accessories. Well, with any other dress, top, jeans, shoes, I could do that all on my own. Still, I would value your input on what was great to wear being the fashionista that you are.

8.      I love the way you sing and carry that tone-deaf voice of yours with grace. You sing with a high key and I like that you don’t care even if it doesn’t sound an inch like that of Mariah Carey’s. ‘’You no send at all’’. By the way, it makes me laugh real hard when you try to carry a note especially when it's all scratchy.

9.      When you are hurt or really sad, you do this whimpering look on your face like that of Tom when he gets hit by Jerry, your mouth quivers and shakes and your nostrils widen a bit. Right then, all I can think of is a gun and a single bullet so I can go all ‘’Russian Roulette’ on whoever made you sad. Still, I like that because my protective instinct bursts out.

10.  You are classy, beautiful and ambitious. Wait, those were three things. There's no point erasing the other two. Let’s just leave it as added bonuses. :D I love you, my beautiful Miss H…

Moving on,

Hmmm, Miss B, my baby sis, the last chic of the family:

1.      I love the beautiful soul in you. You have this aura that can calm a violent storm. Sometimes, I can almost see the halo on your head. Tell me, are you an angel in human form sent to watch over us?

2.      Your intelligence is uncanny. I always tend to forget how young you are because you have a really mature way of thinking. It’s like you are light years ahead of your peers.

3.      Like Miss H, you are also selfless. You are overly concerned about others and you would do anything just to put a smile on their face. I admire that.

4.      Speaking of smiles, your smile radiates like heat. It resonates and everyone around you feels the impact. So beautiful!

5.      My star poet in the making. Haba, even my best homie fell for you after I showed him the poem you wrote. It did ‘serious jazz’ on him. Haha. Don’t worry, I have told him to lay hands off. You know now, I’m just fulfilling my big sis duties. *winks*. Face your book ooo. Hahaha.

6.      You read a sad romantic novel or watch all this Indian movies (which you are so addicted to by the way) and the dams will break loose. I remember this one time I offered to give you paracetamol because the vein in your head popped out while crying. Ahhh, I thought to myself ‘’This girl go fit act film ooo, See cry’’.  I try to sit one movie out with you to see what makes your tear glands let loose. We get to the sad scene, I shed a silent tear or two, I look at you and there you go crying wailing. The sight of it would always make me laugh hard and long. Still, I like that. At least, it brings me to tears of joy laughter.

7.      You hold no grudges against people and you have a forgiving heart. This only validates number 1.

8.      I love the way you speak with all those natural phonetic intonations. So cute. It’s so intense that when you attempt to speak pidgin, we plead and beg you to stick to speaking articulately and we warn you not to ever try that in public. I mean it, not ever oo!

9. You are so blunt that you would rather tell the truth straight-up to someone than embellish it with a two-faced lie. You are a stickler for the truth and Me likey!!!     

10.   Finally, I love that you are very confident and you believe in yourself. Beauty and confidence! A great combo!

So, Miss H and Miss B, I have said it all!!!! Guys say bros before h*s but I say ‘’sistahs before mistahs’’. I love you dearies and I thank God for placing you girls in our family.!!! With you, I have my very own hilarious family sitcom with endless seasons. Priceless!!! MMMWAAAAHHH.

Pheeewww!!! That was a long one. I'm glad to have got that off my chest since I never told you girls this.

P.S. I was pretty hyper when posting this!

  

ONE SHOT AND THE CURTAIN CLOSED

Two days ago, we were all having breakfast at home when my dad got a call from one of his friends. I saw the smile on my dad’s face recede to a frown, a sad one at that and I thought ‘’Uh-oh, this can’t be good’’. It wasn’t. When I heard the word ‘’dead’’, I stopped eating. I kept thinking ‘’who died?’’ The call ended and he looked really distraught. Before I could say a word, my mum had already asked with a high pitch in her voice ‘’whoooo?’’. It turned out the friend who just called was travelling with another close friend of my dad’s and the latter had just lost his life that same morning on his way from Abuja to Kaduna. They were on their way to attend a wedding.

It wasn’t a car accident. A bunch of armed robbers had blocked the road around a sharp bend and signaled the car to stop. From what we learnt yesterday, the passengers in the car (they were 5 anyway; 4 men and a woman) thought they were soldiers because they dressed like them from afar. On getting closer, they realized they were robbers because they wore masks. I guess my dad’s friend panicked behind the wheels and they probably thought he was trying to get away. He eventually slowed down and when they got to the car, without a word or question, they shot him point-blank in the head. Just like that. No mercy. No hesitations.  A sudden death!!!

Why wouldn’t they just steal the car or ask for money and move on? Why shoot an innocent man? Didn’t they realize that he had a family too? Why kill? Are their minds so depraved that all regard for human life is lost? I still can’t wrap my head around it. When he was shot, because the car was still in motion, it was skidding. The robbers shot again and one of the bullets grazed the passenger in the front-seat. He became unconscious. The car still kept on moving and hit a tree in the bush. The robbers got to the car and stole a few belongings. They didn’t shoot the others though they were really injured. Talk about some luck, huh? They even shot the driver of another incoming car and stole that one. Why????

So, the man who called my dad, with injuries and all, managed to find a nearby police station. They were taken to the hospital. When the unconscious one came to, he asked of the others and the friends who came to visit told him they were all in the next ward. If he learnt the truth just then about his dead friend, there was a high chance that he would have gone in shock.

He’s dead, he’s gone and the robbers are scot-free. I can’t imagine the pain and trauma his wife and children must be going through. He left that morning not knowing he would die cruelly. My dad has been soooo sad about it, my mum inclusive. I didn’t really know him that well but still, it hurts to think of the way he died at the hands of heartless killers. With just a shot, the curtain on his life closed. I do hope there is a special place reserved in hell for those who committed this crime. I won’t even say anything about the police handling matters like this; we all know they are incompetent. A lot of people die in the hands of highway armed robbers and little has been done to curb this menace. The police are just good at condemning crimes. We don’t want verbal condemnations. We want action. Abeg, lemme stop here because I have vented too much for one post. It's so painful.

May his soul rest in perfect peace.  AMIN.

MEMOIRS FROM WAY BACK WHEN

This evening, I was going through all my albums out of boredom then I saw some of my secondary school pictures sticking out of one. Immediately, memories of my days then in school came flooding into my head and they were as clear as day. It was like I was walking on this road, no lane…what do you call it? I'm clicking my fingers here. Help me out. Thank you for reminding me, yes I was walking on the memory lane and I saw a younger version of me doing stuff. I started to reminisce about all the fun times in school especially with my great friends then --- Pelumi, Elena, Betsy, Barakat and Princess (not their real names anyway but the first letter of each is).

We were like a tight-knit family, a great clique, a sisterhood, soul sisters right from our junior days. Then, I always thought our friendship would last forever even after school and our children would also be friends too. Call it delusional but dears, it was that awesome. I have a few tidbits to share. Every Friday after school,we used the money we had saved all week to eat at the university restaurant close to the school. Call it a ‘’Friday special’’. Yeah, we would walk along the corridors of the university hostel like we owned the school and with our uniforms ooo. People would be staring at us and in our young minds, we thought it was maybe because we were hot and they couldn’t get enough of these steaming hot chics. Hahahahahahahaha, I'm laughing so hard as I remember this because now, I realize it’s because we were not even supposed to be there and they were probably looking at us like ‘’who are these small girls forming like they are dons?’’  Well, we didn’t care or give a hoot, in our minds it was our right to dine there.

After school, we would take the long walk home gisting before we boarded a taxi or a bike. We had the money to take one right from school but that was our way of bonding. Sometimes, during the weekend, we would all meet either at my house, Pelumi’s or Elena’s like it was some female fraternity..heehee…but then we would gist and gist about boys, crushes on ‘who’ from ‘who’, generally things happening in the class for hours. I used to get teased at a lot by Pelumi and Elena because they claimed my French teacher really liked me and I never found that funny at all. For one, I used to find him rather irritating and his poor dress sense wasn’t helping matters at all. C’mon, the man would wear black shirt with yellow trousers and red shoes or green shirt with green trousers. I’m not kidding. I’m surprised the other teachers or even the principal never warned him to stop dressing like a hobo so he wouldn’t influence any of the other male students around. Kai, the guy thought he had high fashion dress sense ooo. And Girls, if any of you are reading this, I still don’t find it funny.  A funny thing I also recall is that whenever a new student transferred to our school and he/she was placed in our class, we would begin ‘’forming’’ things to make a good first impression like we wanted the girl or guy to think we were very cool. Was all that really necessary? I guess we all still do it in a way so people have that good, lasting impression of us and they don't think we are losers or something.

In my junior days, I think when I was in JSS3, we had this test in Agric class, a test I hadn’t really studied for. I was soooo nervous that I was sweating on my brow as I wrote it. When the test papers were marked and assigned to the class monitor to share around, I was so jumpy, apprehensive. In my mind, I had failed the test. So I just resigned myself to the fact that I did bad. Eventually, my paper was given to me, I blinked my eyes twice to be sure what I saw on the paper was real. There it was, crystal clear, yours truly had 21/30. So great was my joy that I jumped on the desk and started singing a weird song that popped in my head. It went like this as far as I can remember ''21/30…uhhh…uhhh….see you in the morning when your time is gone, see you in the morning when your freaking time is gone’’…It was pretty catchy. Now that I think about it, what the hell was I saying? And to think my friends joined me in the song when they had no idea what I was singing about. Even though others had 26 or 27, the fact that I did well without studying as I should really made me sing like a crazed person. It’s funny because I was shy and quiet then so you can imagine what joy would make a quiet one sing in such manner. Hahahaha…Great times…

Whenever school-fees defaulters were sent outside the school and any of my friends were outside, I would feel sullen and wish I didn’t pay so quickly so I could stay outside too and be with them. The class would be so boring you could hear a leaf fall and it was never exciting without them around. During the Inter-house competitions, we would make sure we dressed up real good even though it was against the rules. In fact, almost everyone did it. We called it ‘mufti’ then. How could we wear a uniform to the sports competition when that was a chance to show people a piece of what our wardrobe clothing looks like? Hahahaha.

Teasing ourselves was always a big thing with us. We would tease Princess for her ‘ajebo’ way of talking, Pelumi for the huge crush one Hausa guy in our class (who-shall-not-be-named) had on her, Betsy for her big ass, Elena for her motherly ways, Barakat for her Chinese eyes,  me for.. well, I already mentioned that above. We always got each other’s back. An attack on one was an attack on all. Yeah, we would go all mafia on anyone who tried to cross any of us (not like the Italians ooo, no drive-by shootings, hahaha, just assault with words). Pelumi was especially good at that. Although Betsy later transferred to another school, she was still seen as part of the group. I was the quiet one but now, I chatter like non-stop. Life, ahhh life made me talk this way.

On our graduation day, after all the usual speeches and snapshots, we had a little celebration par-tay in my house. My late friend that I talked about earlier in my other post was there too. It was soooo much fun. We danced and danced like there was no ‘morrow with a couple of my other close male friends (not from my school though). I still have the videotape at home. It’s so refreshing to see how innocent-eyed we looked back then. We made contact with each other after school for a few months. We got to see Betsy, did the usual meetings in my house or Elena’s. Later on, Princess left for China without telling any of us. Nothing, no goodbyes!!! It hurt like crazy. When Facebook became the in-thing in Naija a few years later, I tried looking her up. Still, I didn’t see her on the search engine. I even tried typing the words in Chinese. HAHAHA, that’s just me kidding.

Six years later, we are not that tight-knit group we used to be. We made new friends in another phase of life – the university. I’m still very very close with Elena though. She has always remained a great and wonderful friend of mine and I think it is safe to say she knows me inside-out after 10 years of friendship. I guess the fact that we were not all in the same city anymore drifted us apart. We call each other once in an eclipse or send each other the perfunctory text messages on our birthdays but the spark’s gone. What happened to us??? I still miss you girls..ahem..ladies. I hope you read this in time even if it’s a year, two or five years from now. To my first ''group-besties'', this is me reaching out blindly and extending the olive branch. 


Te quiero mi chicas. Oh that's 'I love my girls' in Spanish. It sounds nicer in Spanish, don't you think so?